deadline

...there's nothing .... there's nothing ... there's nothing ... nothing ... blank. blank. blank.

and then ... suddenly ... there's something.

and then it's done.

sneaky

after about two months of wear, my formerly beautiful and brand new boots look like this:



also, like this:


that is why they, along with a few of other my other winter pairs - including that death trap right boot that nearly claimed my foot the other day - are having a restorative vacation at the Shoe Repair Spa down the street. And since the nice man told me that he won't have them ready for me until "Wednesday, Thursday", I will be clomping around in my sneakers for a few days. And now, the world will discover that I am actually quite, quite short. Ah, well - it had to happen one of these days.

Warm

... how Heifer is dealing with the recent frigid snap:

... as soon as the lights go out for the night, she leaps onto the bed and pokes her nose under the edge of the covers. she meowps. she is admitted underneath the covers, where she turns around in a few circles and finally curls up against my side. she then purrs herself to sleep.

also

lounging across the heater, she naps. When I go to pet her, her fur is warm.

Silk

(...not to be confused with Sylkk. but then, who's confused anything with Sylkk in the past 13 years?)

...and there's more news. News from today, February 19, 2006, at about 5 p.m. Said news: I..? like soy milk. Who knew? Well, certainly not me. Prior to today, the only things I knew about soymilk were Erma drinks it and says that vanilla is the best flavor, it's more expensive than cow milk, only soy plants were mistreated in the making of this product, it's good for you and somehow, people put this plant matter on their cereal and like it. Years of indirect exposure to it never triggered my desire to check it out, but it appears that it is officially Soy Milk Time for Liv because out of nowhere it has suddenly begun to appeal to me. Enter JNS with yet another pompous lecture about healthy eating habits. Usually such lectures only make me hate him more but today ... somehow... soy milk is more caloric than cow milk (a good thing in my far too skinny book)? soy milk has no cholesterol? soy milk's taste is easy to get used to? Sold. thanks for once, JNS.

So I bought an 11 oz bottle of Silk vanilla soy milk at the grocery store - little, in case I wasn't into it after all. happily, the first hesitant sip yielded a pleasant eureka! moment. thinner and far more thirst quenching than gluey cow milk, it was satisfying, tasty, and i believe that it will make quite a nice companion to my Cinnamon Toasters after all.

And that, gentle reader, was the moment that i learned that I like soy milk.

Soy, you are in my body butter, you are in my acne cream, you are in my vitamins, you are in my shoyu, you are green and fat and rippled and served prior to my sushi, you are in my crispy white cheddary snacks and now you are in my cereal. is there anything they can't do with you?

Romantic

A conversation at the piano bar that made my brother giggle like a ten year-old:

Me: [hovering at the piano, hoping to get some The King & I or Mame played but noting that the pianist was not only playing the catalog of West Side Story but was swamped with requests from all sides] Ah, well.

Man at the edge of the piano: [silent]

Me: [sitting back down but as soon as one song was over, darting back up to the piano, only to see that the waiter was preparing to sing a slow, somewhat stirring solo] Oh, shoot. [sitting back down]

Man at the edge of the piano: What's the song?

Me: I don't know, but it's romantic.

Diego: WHAT?! Dude. You're so stupid!

Ten seconds later

Diego: "I don't know, but it's romantic". Jesus Christ!

Ten seconds later still

Diego: Dude, that's so stupid. And you were so serious, too!

Two minutes later

Diego: Oh my God. "I don't know, but it's romantic". Ha ha!!!

Ten minutes later

Diego: Oh, Jesus...!

It really wasn't that funny, but soon enough I, too, was in near-hysterics.

Ah, to laugh at ourselves. sometimes it is so rich....

stuck

O: i'm caught in my boot!!!
M: Say what?
O: my boot won't come off
M: That's just silly
O: it won't!! the zipper is stuck!
M: Oh dear
M: Is some thread or something stuck in the zipper?
O: the tooth is off the track
O: this has happened before, with the same boot
M: Oh great
M: The tooth is bent - or broken off?
O: bent
O: i'm trying to bend it back into place, but it won't go
O: i'm going to spend my life in this boot!!!! It can't end like this!!!!
M: How did you solve the problem last time?
O: i don't even know.
O: grrrr!!!
M: Grrr indeed
M: Do you think you could force the zipper down if you had to?
O: no
O: i've got my tweezers out now, trying to bend it back into place
O: this is bad, dude. this is very bad
O: oh, great. now my other foot is falling asleep
M: I meant could you totally break the zipper if it was the only way to get out of the boot
O: i love these boots...

O: it's this one tooth of the zipper that's crooked.
M: Well, zippers can be replaced
O: i'm trying to make it not crooked and i succeed, but then when i pull the zipper down it bends again
M: How about this: Put your other boot on and go to the nearest shoe repair. He would probably be able to help you out in a way that would seem ridiculously easy - and probably fairly cheap
O: the whole thing is stupid!
O: i guess so, huh?
O: i'll go after i finish eating
M: I think it's the best plan
O: it's ridiculous, man. i'm sitting here on my bed, one shoe off, the other half on, eating my lunch
M: That does sound like a funny picture
O: my lunch is good
O: Heifer is fat. she's sitting across from me on the bed, like a chicken
O: i'm tired. maybe i'll take a nap.
M: Well, make sure you leave yourself time to go to the shoe repair place
O: yes
M: Better bring an extra pair of shoes in case hee needs to keep the boot
O: sigh